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The Truth About the Holidays: More of Their Stories Revealed (Under Construction)
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My Page is the Start of a Revolution Against Holidays Gone Bad.
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If you have seen the first page on this, then you'll know why I have revealed these horrific things the holidays have done. I had to tell the world about the holidays and the havock they had reaked. Please, if you have any extra information e-mail me. Also, to understand this page better go to 686 Steven Martin Street, Benny Hills. There you will find my first page on this matter.
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Thanksgiving Turkey: Tasty Treat or A Savage Killer?
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Here is yet another tragic and horrific case from our vault.
Case #4357AK3450T
Thanksgiving Turkey:
We all know how the symbol of Thanksgiving is the turkey. But what if I told you that turkeys weren't always that symbol, or they weren't always recognized as beautiful birds but as savage killers who lived for death itself? Here is their true story. Long ago, before the Revolutionary War, the pilgrims had used cow for their main Thanksgiving dish. Then a indian gave the pilgrims a taste of a dish they called "turkey." The pilgrims loved it and wanted more, but alas the turkeys weren't willing to be captured. After long talks, the pilgrims and turkeys came upon an agreement. The pilgrims would teach them their ways on politics, religion, and life. Then the turkeys would give up three of their best turkey friends every Thanksgiving and they would become the symbol for Thanksgiving. The pilgrims agreed. But when it became time to teach the turkeys, all they were taught was religion and how God was the only sovereign being. The turkeys liked this and wanted to know about life and politics. The pilgrims told them that after Thanksgiving they would. So Thanksgiving Day came and three turkeys were used. When it came time to teach and to give the title of Thanksgiving to the turkeys, the pilgrims refused and slaughtered 350 out of 400 turkeys. The turkeys swore they would never let the pilgrims get away with it. The turkeys fell from their Godly ways and began to dabble in witchcraft. What people don't know is the turkeys introduced the "cults" to the world. Before long, all the turkeys had been possesed by demons and had made a plan to which would let them have what they had been denied. On August 23, 1760, a group of some 7,800 turkeys came and slaughtered over 1000 pilgrims. They then held the governer hostage and ordered that they be called "most majestic bird" and be given the title of the Thanksgiving symbol. Without any other choice, the pilgrims agreed and the turkeys left and where never heard of again. But in 1800's the President stripped these birds of their title, gave it to the cow, and called them " A disgrace to all man and animals." The birds were upset and took the President hostage forcing him to sign a charter which made them the symbol for Thanksgiving and sentenced all cows to death. No one knows when they will strike again, but if you have any information please e-mail me.
Picture: This picture was taken during a gathering of a turkey cult in the 1700's. As you can see the turkey is floating because he was possesed.
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Cupid: Love Maker or Mafia Hitman ?
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Here is yet another tragic tale from our holiday crime vault.
Case #6974EL5422R
Valentine's Cupid:
Cupid. The name that brings hope to all the love struck fools. He is the symbol of love. But what if I told you that he wasn't always Cupid? That there was another Cupid who was better and didn't wear a diaper, or that his name wasn't Cupid but H.M. Bellowsworth? If you don't want to hear this, to bad, cause this is the truth. Henry Michael Bellowsworth grew up in Manhattan in the projects. When he was 10 his dad was murdered by a mafia crime boss name Big D. Three years later his mother was hit by a bus and she died. Now he was an orphan. He tried to make money by selling flowers on the streets. He made $10.50 before his cart was stolen. On May 6, 1912, Big D came and told Henry that his father owed them money. When he saw that Henry was broke, he told him he could make money as his hitman. Henry agreed and was swept away to a warehouse. It was there he was given the code name "Cupid" seeing is how he never had much luck with love. He was also given arrows with poisened tips in the shape of hearts. His mission was explained to him 3 diffirent times. By the time he was 24 he was known and feared. He had killed 12 people already. On the day of his 25th birthday, he was assigned to kill Marshall Clemens. As he raised the arrow he saw Clemens hug his beautiful daughter, Alisson. Henry fell in love instantly. He followed her on her way to work and introduced himself. She was charmed and offered to buy him a cup of coffee. He told her his whole story, except the part about her father. She told him he should help people and not pull them apart with death. She gave him a potion which she had received. She claimed it could let someone bring two people together with an arrow's touch. The only thing was, if this person's heart wasn't open or became hard the spell would wear off. After a long talk he agreed. He told Big D he needed some time off, and the two went on a vacation. 1 month later he proposed to her. She said yes. Big D has found out that Clemens was still alive and all because Henry couldn't kill his girlfriend's father. He was furious. But he almost killed Henry when he received his letter of resignation. He had said that his wife didn't want him in the mafia. Big D then took matters into his own hands. On July 17, 1924, Big D sent 3 men to kill Henry's wife while he talked to Henry on a pier. Henry returned not to see his beautiful wife, but a puddle of blood which lay around a lifeless figure who's expression was as icy as the color in her face and eyes. It was then that he realized that life is not fair, that life has a sick way of repeating itself in the most vile of ways. And on this note, a call to his was made to a gun maker. Then he made a call to his nephew saying he would drop off a potion and told him the whole story. He then realized he was Cupid the love maker, but Cupid, the mafia hitman. 3 weeks later, while Big D was playing poker with his gang, when the warehouse door flew open. In seconds, all but Big D and 1 of his men remained alive. That one man was the next to go. Some say that Big D and Henry killed each other in a shoot out. No one knows. We do know for sure, is that Henry's nephew Clarence is Cupid today. Please e-mail me if you have any information whatsoever.
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| Favourite Links
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The Hamster Dance
This is a page for animal and fine music lovers.
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Warning:
For all you who find this offensive, GET OVER IT ITS A BIG JOKE!!
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